Do I even need therapy?

Often coming to accept that you might benefit from therapy can be months or even years in the making, especially when you’ve put off the task of doing so (hey, ADHD). It can take a lot of time to come to terms with the concept of opening up to a complete and total stranger about your darkest and most difficult thoughts and feelings, let alone identifying that it would be helpful to address with another party in the first place. There can be preconceived notions about what therapy is and how it can benefit you. There can be deeply engrained stigmas related to seeking out mental health treatment.

There can also be painful or dismissive experiences that you’ve had with previous therapists, other medical professionals, or anyone else who was supposed to be trustworthy and safe. This can make you incredibly wary of seeking support and being able to trust someone in this capacity. This is an unfortunately all-too-common sentiment that I hear from so many of my clients. Especially for those with trauma histories or those who have brought up the idea that maybe ADHD could be a contributing factor to their pain and chronic overwhelm.

Common experiences that many of my clients have had that led them to seek out therapy with me include:

• Feeling chronically overwhelmed

• Struggling to regulate their emotions daily (but logically knowing what they “should” do instead)
• Feeling worried often and struggling to quiet down their brain
• Struggling to find the energy or motivation to do the things that they want to or used to do
• Increased challenges with managing their work, relationships, and other life stressors than usual

Good Therapists do Exist

Finding the right therapist can be a daunting task. It can feel overwhelming. It can feel frustrating. This can be especially true when you’ve had a bad experience with another therapist in the past. Where do you even start? Your doctor’s office? Google? Insurance? Psychology Today? Referral from a friend? What do you look for in a therapist? How do you know that a therapist is a good fit?

Some tips for starting your search for a therapist:

• Search for therapists in your area on Psychologytoday.com, MentalHealthMatch.com, GoodTherapy.com, BeingSeen.com, or TherapyDen.com. A Google search or a chat with your family doctor or a trusted friend, can also be a great source for solid referrals.
• Look for a therapist who is trauma-informed and whose experience and areas of expertise speak to your current concerns. A good therapist will listen, be empathetic, make you feel safe and supportive, be open to feedback, and be non-judgmental. They will have training in multiple modalities and not use a “one-size-fits-all” approach. They will work at a pace that is comfortable for you and won’t ever push you to share details of an upsetting or traumatic experience or engage in any therapeutic exercises without your consent or willingness to participate. They will also act like a real human – not a robot.
• Don’t be afraid to reach out to multiple therapists to find a good fit for you. Sometimes it takes setting up a few different consultations with various therapists, or even having a few different initial appointments before you find the best fit for you. Don’t get discouraged or be afraid to speak up when it doesn’t feel like a good fit.

If you are in a mental health crisis, please call/text 988 for support 24/7, or contact your local mental health crisis line.

With love,

Avery